This morning I received a postcard with the headline, “Kelly, join us for an exclusive catered event.”

I know it was for a timeshare sales pitch, but that wasn’t what concerned me. The real question was, “Who’s Kelly?”

It seems she lived at my address long ago. Since I’ve owned my home since 2021, the marketer must have bought an old mailing list, probably scraped off the internet.

Said marketer then synced this out-of-date list with a mail/merge program, matching the address and the headline. The result: printing and mailing instant garbage, wasting their money and my time.

It’s like the old saying: Garbage in, garbage out.

Why am I so harsh? Harry Hogan, my old college professor, told me it’s only called “junk mail” when it doesn’t work. And if you’re buying junk mailing lists, you’re going to end up with junk mailings.

It’s simple math!

Here’s some more math for you. There are 154 million residential mailboxes in the US, and Congress has established that the US Postal Service must provide mail delivery at least six days a week, except during federal holidays or emergencies. A 2% response rate is considered a successful mailing campaign.

But a good mailing list could easily mean better response rates. And since you’re already paying for the list, the printing, and the postage, every additional respondent contributes to a fatter profit margin.

With so many marketers flocking to digital media these days, all those mailboxes offer a chance to, as baseball great Willie Keeler suggested, “Hit ’em where they ain’t.” This can be especially appealing to companies trying to differentiate themselves, since direct mail does what other vehicles can’t: deliver something physical with your message.

This is important to remember, regardless of what you’re selling.

Because whether you’re sending a single postcard or a 33-part dimensional mailing incorporating chess pieces, direct mail can be an extremely strategic way of targeting your audience.

Here’s the bottom line: The single most important part of your campaign is always going to be your mailing list. Use a crappy one and you’re just mailing stuff, hoping you’ll get back enough business to turn a profit.

Oh, and if you happen to bump into Kelly, please tell her I’ve got some mail for her.

With that said, I wish you a week of profitable marketing.

Get more messaging advice at www.askmrmarketing.com.